When you live a world where "Snakes on a Plane" is the top box office draw, the hottest month of the year can be downright unbearable. It's not that I'm above movie titles that are so explicit they're almost mocking you. It's not that I don't like shooting a 102 on the golf course and still scoring less than the temperature. But when I recover from heat stroke and turn on the tube, I can't help but wonder what's real? Where did all the reality go?

I'm not taking anything away from Josh Blue or Storm Large, but the reality market has been a bit barren. So I figured this would be a great time to express my concerns on the coming season of the unreal. If you're a hardcore reality buff, you might have missed the fact that scripted television and specifically scripted sitcoms have come a long way. The days of forced laughter dubbed into 'Full House' during Dave Coulier's impressions are long gone.

Love it or hate it, the surge of reality television has had a profound effect on traditional viewing. Shows not only got funnier, they got smarter. Eight years ago, a horrendous comedy could survive because it was up against other horrendous comedies. Reality slapped them around for a few years and recently, they've fought back with vigor.

You might've forgotten but prior to reality, Must See TV on NBC featured 'Suddenly Susan' in the top ten in the Nielsen ratings which I would define as a poor man's 'News Radio'. That show also stunk, just not as bad.

Barring the occasional nudity, 'Arliss' had absolutely nothing to offer but enjoyed a NINE YEAR RUN! On possibly the greatest television network ever!?! Say what you want about reality television, but there's no way 'Arliss' survives once the seventh and final vote read Richard Hatch and the world was hooked on reality.

Now scripts are genuine and cultivated. They're not banged out at the last minute like science fair projects. Every word is selected with care. And most importantly, Bob Saget is nowhere to be found. This new brand of quick, sharp humor is anchored by programs like 'Scrubs' and 'Arrested Development'. Development was so sly that it almost played itself off the air.

Standing head and shoulders above the rest is the incomparable: 'The Office'.

The Office

A perfect cast that rivals 'Cheers' and near perfect writing creates a subtle humor so slight and delicate that it's easily missed. The clever diction is so brilliant that it managed to sour me on "The 40 Year Old Virgin" in the first thirty seconds. Steve Carell brought shameless, overt humor to that flick ignoring what makes 'The Office' so great. It was the latest of the, "Brian, you've got to see this movie, it's even better than Dumb & Dumber" lies. Eleven times in the last twelve years somebody has uttered that exact string of words to me. All eleven times were blatant lies. The most incorrigible were 'Liar Liar' and 'The Elf'. I had so much anticipation that flick would be a hybrid of the smart humor of 'The Office' mixed with sexual innuendo and gratuitous skin. What I got was Andrew Dice Clay when he was still funny. And when I say "still", I mean "never".

It's almost impossible for a second season to top the first but they managed with 'The Office'. The finale was good, crazy good. It's very difficult to craft a genuine, original moment that releases two seasons of tension but again, they managed. The way Jim blurted out to Pam that he loved her was never before seen. It was like when your wife drags you to a romantic comedy that you just can't wait to hate. In one instance, something corny resonates and sticks with you. That was that moment.

However, I now have serious concerns for what it means to the future of the show. We've been there, done that and it never seems to work.

In the mid-eighties, Maddy Hayes had a budding relationship with David Addison on the classic 'Moonlighting.' That undercurrent of a relationship that didn't quite exist carried the show for years. Will they or won't they? You couldn't miss a week for fear it was the one. The memories are still fresh with Maddy debating between, "Mr. Perfect or Mr. Addison?" She strayed from perfection and the show was never the same. Everything crumbled. The story lines had no draw once the sexual tension was gone. Willis and Shepherd had grown to hate each other off screen and it played on camera. The end was so unfulfilling and depressing, it still stings. The show was canceled during filming of the season finale so they banged out a quick rewrite with Maddy and David saying stale good-byes leaving stunned fans wondering what might have been if she had selected Mr. Perfect.

During that same time, Angela and Tony had similar problems on "Who's the Boss," which was a decent but quickly dated show and I'm more confident in the "dated" than I am in the "decent". When you're overshadowed by "Growing Pains" it might be time to hang'em up. It did enjoy a nine year run and had a strong allegiance of fans. When Angela and Tony gave into the tension, the show plummeted in a Roseanne winning the lottery kind of way. It crumbled so quickly upon consummation that a know-it-all, mini-version of Tony named Billy was brought in to right the ship. (Honestly, the ending of the show escapes me and I had to do some research to refresh my memory about Billy. An unmistakable sign to know your career as a writer has gone terribly wrong is when you're in your underwear Google-ing "Who's the Boss, what went wrong.")

My point is that sexual tension is a struggle to get somewhere. That struggle is what gets people out of bed in the morning. I hate to plagiarize Clark Griswold in mid thought but getting there is half the fun. Once you get "there," whatever that is, its often miles away from where you really want to be. Why didn't Jack Osbourne get out of bed until 5:00 PM? Because he didn't have to, he was already "there".

Speaking of getting "there"…

Grey's Anatomy

There are a ton of questions surrounding the show; the most important of which is obvious: "Is Meredith hot?" The misses and I debate it every week. Meredith brings off-beat good looks to a new level. She literally varies from second hottest chick in the bar to Hollywood heavyweight based on the angle and lighting. Great show but I always feel like it's teetering on the edge of nose diving. The acting is good but not great with some glaring holes. Miranda "the Nazi" Bailey is brutal. Her sarcasm hurts my ears and every sentiment is overdone. Addison Shepherd was also miscast.

Besides those flaws, I just don't trust the show. I feel like the suits in charge are always close to a torrid decision. For instance, the "Code Black" episode was great television. But if you think back, you'll remember the show opened with an overdrawn shower sequence that jeopardized the two part series. Thankfully, the content overcame it but it was a head scratcher at best.

So Meredith selected Shepherd in the finale and it was good television. Now where does that leave us? Can they possibly return to their former selves or will every story line be driven by the obstacles of their romance.

Maybe Grey's and the Office will survive and stay strong. Maybe they can return back from "there" but I doubt it. It's like when you have sexual tension with a friend and in a drunken haze you explore the indiscretion that lies beneath. Once you both realize that it was a mistake and you try to return to what you once were, it just can't happen. You've been "there" and you can't go back. It's all or nothing. Harry and Sally were doomed if they didn't make it work. You may as well start sleeping until 5:00PM before checking into rehab.

Seinfeld was the greatest show of all time for many reasons but one was the understanding that "there" isn't the place you want to be. He understood that when he turned away five million an episode and got out early. He also understood that when he denied the country's women the reunion with Elaine they so desired.

We saw things crumble with Ross and Rachel. We saw it crumble harder with Monica and Chubby Chandler. And Joey and Rachel, well, do I even need to say it? And let's be honest, Sesame Street was never quite the same once the gang met Mr. Snufalapagus. Once the tension is gone so is the draw.

I just hope the masterminds behind these shows considered that for the coming fall season. At this point, I'm just looking for something to make life palatable. Because the tension of the NL wild card race to determine who'll be swept in the World Series isn't cutting it. And naming a movie 'Snakes on a Plane' is like calling the movie 'Speed': 'People Stuck on a Bus'.